R.I.P. Captain Vegetable

“It is I,
Captain Vegetable,
With my carrot
And my celery.
Eating crunchy vegetables
Is good for me.
And they're good for you,
So eat them, too.
For teeth so strong,
Your whole life long,
Eat celery
And carrots by the bunch.
Three cheers for me, Captain Vegetable,
Crunch, crunch, crunch!”

The flags are at half mast on Sesame Street today in honor of its greatest hero, a muppet who devoted his all too brief existence to making the world a better place by encouraging healthy eating habits.

Captain Vegetable is dead and our lives are all the more somber for it.

On Monday at 12:35 EST, the legendary muppet superhero sacrificed his life to save 7-year old Prairie Dawn who was in danger of being run down while crossing the street by of an out-of-control meat delivery truck. Eye witnesses told authorities that Captain Vegetable was quick to act as soon as he spotted the danger little Prairie was in, dropping his carrot and his celery and rushing to her rescue without hesitation. While the Captain was successful in getting Prairie to safety, he failed to escape the path of the speeding vehicle himself.

The citizens of Sesame Street are still reeling from the shock, many of them being Muppets also saved by Captain Vegetable over the years.

Andy, who used to love candy, gives credit to the late, great Captain for weaning him off a diet consisting of mainly sweets: “When he first showed up, I was really freaked out. I mean I didn’t know eyebrows could grow to be that thick and bushy. Scary.”

Eddie, who used to consume vast quantities of spaghetti, also lamented the Captain’s passing: “I somehow knew deep down inside that eating just pasta was not the best thing for me. I owe Captain Vegetable a debt of thanks for making me realize that a diet that also includes fresh fruit and vegetables can do wonders for one’s natural health. But man…his eyebrows were very scary.”

Besides turning kids on to the world of edible vegetation, little else was known about this champion of justice besides him claiming to use a secret garden located in New Jersey as his base of operations. When not crusading solo he was a part of the Justice League of Sesame Street (JL of SS) which included other defenders of the downtrodden such as Super Grover, Captain Breakfast, Wonder Pig and, of course, the all-powerful Super Beaker.

The runaway meat truck continued to spin out of control after killing Captain Vegetable and the driver was instantly killed when it crashed into the Sesame Street streetlight sign. This has left the authorities to speculate if this was perhaps a carefully planned act of foul play and not a true accident.

There were many that would benefit from Captain Vegetable’s death including, a human pretender to the throne that looks and sounds very much like actor John Leguizamo. This pretender has emerged in recent years claiming to be the one, true Captain Vegetable. This man is wanted by the police by questioning and people are advised to approach this individual with extreme caution.

The internet has also began to buzz on the possibility of the murder with conspiracy theorists already drawing parallels between Captain Vegetable’s death by meat truck with the freezing death of Captain Carrot over a year ago in a meat locker—a death the authorities have since officially ruled accidental.

In the days to come Sesame Street will be forced to cope with the loss of a savior that only wished for us to be properly nourished with the vitamins and antioxidants that come from a diet laden with vegetables. Captain Vegetable was brave, courageous, and had the most well-endowed set of eyebrows in known existence.

To paraphrase the late hero:

“Three cheers for you, Captain Vegetable,
Crunch, crunch, crunch!”

Some of the Food I’ve Been Eating, Epilogue: Other Things I Fill my Belly With

Days 73 and 74

Here are some more bits and pieces of what I am eating. Again, this is not everything I eat, just the ones that appear on my grocery list the most often.

Bragg Liquid Aminos has a salty soy flavor and goes great on salads, bean dishes and etc. It’s a superb way to get those aminos in and add flavor to bland or repetitive meals at the same time.


Of course, veggie burgers are something a meatless diet has to encounter sooner or later. Slap one between whole grain bread or a roll and you’ve got a meal!

Oatmeal is good for more whole grain goodness and is great for your heart. I avoid getting any of the brands that are pre-flavored. It’s much healthier (and more fun) to add fresh fruit or cinnamon to it at home. That reminds me; tomorrow morning I should have cinnamon apple oatmeal! Why not?

I have gone meatless but the world will have to pry my daily fix of coffee from my cold, dead hands. My friend Audra suggested the above amino condiment as well as unsulphured blackstrap molasses, the latter of which I put in my coffee everyday. It is a great source of iron, magnesium and potassium and along with milk substitutes such as Rice Dream, Soy Slender and Almond Breeze; my coffee is an extra special treat to drink in the morning. Here’s a crafty coffee tip: brew some coffee the night before, add some chocolate soy milk, chill it in the fridge and in the morning you’ve got an even sweeter and cup of coffee.

Also, for days when I don’t want to have an extremely difficult time getting to bed at night, I drink green tea instead of coffee. I find the taste of regular green tea okay, but not especially flavorful. That’s why I jumped for genuine joy when I saw flavored green teas at my local supermarket—and on sale no less! I picked up green tea flavors blueberry, lemon, mango, mint, peach and, of course, pomegranate. Green tea has less caffeine than coffee and is full of antioxidants. If you want a healthy alternative to sodas or sugar-loaded juices then try some green tea!

Talk to you soon!
meatlessman@yahoo.com
Facebook A Man Finally Eats his Veggies Fan Page
All writing and pictures copyright the author of this blog unless otherwise noted.

Some of the Food I’ve Been Eating, Part 1: Fruits

Day 67

(I dedicate the “Some of the Food I’ve Been Eating” series to my friend Sunny who has been eagerly awaiting it.)

Many of you have asked what foods I’ve been devouring ever since I went meatless back on November 2nd. This entry is the first of a four part series and each part will focus on a different food group; fruits, meats/proteins, dairy (which I was still consuming before I cut that group out on New Year’s), and, of course, vegetables. These entries will not cover all the foods that have been in my diet these past eight weeks, just the ones I eat most often that have become my staples in this eating experiment.

Whenever I prepare my meals I like to include a serving of fruit. They are great for giving you the energy you need to function throughout the day and they have antioxidants. I prefer to eat them in their whole form as opposed to guzzling fruit juices that have less fiber and are usually loaded with sugars. Go with fruit in its whole form; it just feels better. Trust me on this one folks.

I purchased my first pomegranate a few weeks ago and cut it in half as soon as I got home. I am a sucker for products that are flavored with pomegranate (even artificially) such as grenadine, pomegranate teas, chocolate with pomegranate flavoring and etc. I was always curious as to what the fruit would look like halved and how the insides of a real pomegranate would taste.

The interior of the pomegranate I brought home looked like it contained all these tiny rubies with seeds inside of them that are surrounded by fibrous matter that looks like white latex. I removed all the “tiny rubies” or arils, as they are properly referred to, from the white matter and filled a good size tupperware (I refuse to capitalize tupperware no matter what my spell checker says) container with them and put the container in the fridge. Over the course of the next few days I kept on going back to the container to have some of the arils with my meals. They are very tasty but pomegranates are expensive, $2.50 for just one of them. Pomegranates are not something I can afford to consume on a weekly basis no matter how much you can get out of one.

Bananas have always been something I have loved but I find that they most often don’t make it through the week, no matter how early in their life cycle I purchase them. I love them but when they start turning brown I leave them be.

Apples are the fruit I munch on most often. If I get the organic ones from Trader Joe’s I find they are bigger, fresher, crisper, firmer and even tastier than anywhere else. The real kicker is that the Trader Joe’s apples are better priced than anywhere else and have a longer shelf life too. I pay 49 to 69 cents each for Gala and Granny Smith apples at Trader Joe’s. I bought two the other day from a mainstream supermarket and paid $1.97 for them. They were a higher price at lower quality. Go figure.

One last thing about fruits, beware of the “superfoods” label. This is a label I believe the produce industry has put on some particular fruits and veggies claiming that they are even healthier than less expensive fruits such as apples or strawberries. Pomegranates, coconuts and other more exotic fruits have been slapped with this label but many fruits that are not considered “superfoods” can be just as packed with vitamins and minerals as the so called “superfoods”. A 49 cent apple a day is just as effective at keeping a doctor away as a pomegranate that is $2.50 a pop.

Talk to you soon!
meatlessman@yahoo.com
Facebook A Man Finally Eats his Veggies Fan Page
All writing and pictures copyright the author of this blog unless otherwise noted.