Monday, April 12, 2010

The Mystery of Waist Not, Want Not.

Day 162

My 32 waist pants are a little snug.

My 34 waist pants are loose.

My waist size is 36.

What gives?

Within the last week I have had my waist measured twice, once was at a department store and once was only yesterday by myself with a brand new tape measure. Both times it was 36”.

I assume the man at the department store was doing it correctly because he worked in the men’s department and he should know. When I first entered the men’s department at Wilson’s I asked the lady behind the check out who does the measurements ‘round here. She told me an older fellow named Rob was the person to see and that he had plenty of experience—measuring waist sizes, you sickos!

After strolling over to this Rob fellow he promptly took my waist size and it came out to be 36”.

Even though I seriously doubted the word of the worldly waist measurer Rob, I politely thanked him, walked out to my car and then proceeded to swear aloud.


My 32 waist sized pants are a little snug.
My 34 waist sized pants are loose.

So how can my waist size be 36”?

A few days later, on Saturday, I purchased a tape measure and Googled how to measure my waist myself.

Upon measuring my own waist size I came up with the same number that master measurer Rob did…36”!

Can someone explain why my pants sizes don’t agree with that number?

Are elves altering my pants when I am out?
Is 36 the new 40?
Was there a label mix up?

Any answers to this mystery would be much appreciated.

Talk to you soon!
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